The Gang at Mabel's talks about expensive snowfences, trips south
The world’s problems are solved daily ’round the table at Mabel’s Grill.
“Christmas came early at our place this year,” said Cliff Murray as he sat down at the morning coffee session the other day.
“Do you have one of those family things where people get together anywhere after November 1?” asked Molly Whiteside as she filled his cup with coffee.
“No, my early present was that good weather that finally let me get my corn off,” said Cliff. “For a while there I thought I was going to be providing very expensive snow fence for the township.”
“You suppose you could have got them to pay you something if the corn had to be left out all winter?” wondered Dave Winston. “It certainly would have cut their snowplowing costs, for sure.”
“Be kind of nice to get in on some of those government contracts,” said George McKenzie, “like those aircraft plants that charge $15,000 for a hammer.”
“That’d sure be better than the price of corn this year,” said Dave.
“I wonder if the elevators have ever had a year before where they had to worry that corn drying was going to interfere with the Christmas holiday schedule,” said Cliff.
“Well I hope the weather’s better in 2015 than it was in 2014,” said George. “This climate change business is no good at all. I want to go back to global warming and get a hot summer.”
“Or at least not have a winter like last year,”said Cliff. “Just the thought of last year makes me wish I was one of those snowbirds who head to Florida.”
“I don’t know,” said Molly. “When you see what can happen if you have health problems while you’re down there, it makes winter here seem a lot better. Did you see the story about the woman who had her baby prematurely and had hospital bills of a million dollars that the insurance company wouldn’t cover?”
“Talk about a million-dollar baby!” said Dave.
“Well I’m not pregnant so I guess I’d be alright to go south,” said Cliff.
“But what else might they get you on,”said Molly. “From what I hear it’s sort of an insurance roulette. The insurance companies are happy to take your money, no questions asked, but when you need them they find all these reasons why they don’t have to pay.”
“Some lawyers are no doubt making a lot of money finding the loopholes,” said Dave.
“Enough money they can afford their vacations in the sun,” said Cliff. “And since they wrote the fine print in the insurance policies, they know how to cover themselves.”
“The insurance companies make the lawyers rich and the lawyers keep the insurance companies rich,” grumbled George. “All the fat cats get together.”
“Yeah, but bet they’re not as fat as that cat on TV,” said Dave.
“You mean Grumpy Cat,” asked Molly.
“Grumpy cat?” asked George.
“Yeah, apparently there’s this cat that has this grumpy look and it’s making a lot of money in commercials and movies on the internet,” explained Molly.
“Like $114 million in the last two years!” said Dave.
“You’re kidding? $114 million?” said George. “I’m in the wrong business. I only feed people.”
“But can he catch mice?” wondered Mabel.
“If he earns $114 million his owners are probably catching mice for him!” said Cliff.
“The world on the internet gets stranger and stranger,” said George. “Some cat can make $114 million even though you’ve never even heard of it before, and all it’s got going for it is a grumpy look on its face. It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, it’s discrimination in favour of cats,” said Mabel. “I mean George has looked grumpy for the last 30 years and nobody’s paid him two cents, let alone $114 million.”◊