“What, no sweet potato waffles?” asked Cliff Murray as Dave Winston ordered pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast the other morning at Mabel’s Grill.
“Yuck! Why spoil waffles by putting sweet potatoes in them?” wondered Dave.
“It’s supposed to make them healthy,” said Cliff. “I was reading an article the other day that said the chef for the Toronto Raptors cooks all these healthy meals for the players so they can perform at their best in basketball games.”
“Well I guess it might be helping since they’ve been in first place most of the year,” said Molly Whiteside as she finished writing up the orders.
“Wait a minute, they hire a chef just to feed a couple of dozen basketball players?” asked George McKenzie.
“Not only that, they have a full-scale commercial kitchen and a staff of three at their practice facility out at the CNE,” said Cliff. “Not to mention the team nutritionist.”
“Good grief! How much must they charge for these meals?” wondered George.
“Oh I suspect the food is all free,” said Cliff.
“Yeah, some of those poor fellows only make $30 million a year,” said Dave.
“It kind of reminds me of the line in the movie Love Actually where the old rock star turns to the kids on television and tells them ‘Kids, don’t buy drugs. Get to be as rock star and they’ll give them to you for free,’” said Molly.
“Well I guess I might give those waffles a try anyway,” said Dave. “If I didn’t like them I could just put more maple syrup on them.”
“Oops, nope,” said Cliff. “The chef says maple syrup is too sugary.”
“I’m getting to like this guy less and less,” said Dave. “So what does he allow on his precious waffles?”
“Only organic honey gathered by bees from wild flowers,” said Cliff, managing to keep a straight face.
George, who had been mid-sip in his coffee, choked but managed to keep from spewing it on the others, only wiping a dribble from his chin with his sleeve. “So how do they prove this?” he wondered. “Have they got tiny cameras on all the bees that reports them if they stopped off at a clover field or, heaven forbid, a canola field?”
“I’m tellin’ ya, people are getting crazier and crazier about food,” said Dave. “I mean look at all this fuss about the new Canada Food Guide!”
“I don’t know,” said George sadly. “I mean they seem to be trying to get people to eat less meat and milk and eggs.”
“So what?” wondered Dave. “When was the last time you ever heard people talk about this food guide until they started discussing it on the news?”
“I read one guy saying they need to change because so many kids today are obese,” said Cliff.
“And I guarantee they didn’t get fat from eating an extra egg or drinking more milk,” said Dave. “They got it from munching potato chips and drinking Coke while they lay around playing video games on their phones.”
“People keep complaining that nutritious food is too expensive, so they have to eat processed food,” said Molly.
“Did they ever cook a pork chop and bake a potato in the microwave?” wondered Dave. “I’ll bet it’s less expensive than some of the food they’re eating.”
“A lot of them claim they don’t have time to cook,” explained Molly.
“Yeah, I read a lot of young people are using those apps on your phone where you can order a meal and it’s delivered to your door ready to eat,” said Cliff.
“That probably explains it,” said Molly. “I heard on the TV the other day that the average millennial in Britain spends nearly $600 a year to feed himself than his parents.”
“Good grief are they ordering sweet potato waffles with organic wild flour honey from the Raptors’ chef?” George wondered. ◊